Overheard in the classroom:
“I play Minecraft!” Kid One.
“Of course you do!” Kid Two, rolling his eyes.
My, these kindergarteners can be quite vicious, can’t they?
Category Archives: School Scribblings
When I was 17 …
Dear Kris,
As you may or may not be aware of, that wonderful time of year is upon us, or rather, you. Yes, that’s right, dear Claus, the time for you to finally earn your keep and work off some of those extra pounds Mrs. Claus has so cruelly heaped upon your lean-in-spirit frame over the last 11 months, has jumped around again.
It’s time once again to fatten up the reindeer, or in your case, go out to the shed and see if those ignorant brownies have kept the poor beggars alive.
(By the way, you might be interested in knowing that one of our presidents went so far as to outlaw slavery, so you better start paying those little toymakers of your something, or you are liable to have a riot situation on your hands. Now we couldn’t have that, could we? What would all the stupid brats around the world do without all those useless toys to break. Now, I ask you, would that be fair?)
I have been a good little boy, so remember me, ole Saint Nick, and I won’t tell that I saw you and Mommy kissing in the kitchen last year while Daddy was asleep in the bedroom. I also won’t tell that I knew you were so drunk last year when I sat on your lap, that your nose was as red as your suit and Vixen and Blitzen were so bombed that they tried to eat a hundred dollars’ worth of sweaters at Albin’s.
That should wrap it up, so until next year, so long.
Your loving admirer,
Stevie Pollock
P.S. If that ignorant torch of a reindeer you call Rudolph shines that beacon nose of his in my bedroom window at 2 in the morning again this year, I will personally escort him on a one-way trip to the glue factory.
—Written by Steve for senior honors English class and published in the Duncan High School Demon Pitchfork, 19-Dec-1981.
Letter to Santa (1981)
Dear Kris,
As you may or may not be aware of, that wonderful time of year is upon us, or rather, you. Yes, that’s right, dear Claus, the time for you to finally earn your keep and work off some of those extra pounds Mrs. Claus has so cruelly heaped upon your lean-in-spirit frame over the last 11 months, has jumped around again.
It’s time once again to fatten up the reindeer, or in your case, go out to the shed and see if those ignorant brownies have kept the poor beggars alive.
(By the way, you might be interested in knowing that one of our presidents went so far as to outlaw slavery, so you better start paying those little toymakers of your something, or you are liable to have a riot situation on your hands. Now we couldn’t have that, could we? What would all the stupid brats around the world do without all those useless toys to break. Now, I ask you, would that be fair?)
I have been a good little boy, so remember me, ole Saint Nick, and I won’t tell that I saw you and Mommy kissing in the kitchen last year while Daddy was asleep in the bedroom. I also won’t tell that I knew you were so drunk last year when I sat on your lap, that your nose was as red as your suit and Vixen and Blitzen were so bombed that they tried to eat a hundred dollars’ worth of sweaters at Albin’s.
That should wrap it up, so until next year, so long.
Your loving admirer,
Stevie Pollock
P.S. If that ignorant torch of a reindeer you call Rudolph shines that beacon nose of his in my bedroom window at 2 in the morning again this year, I will personally escort him on a one-way trip to the glue factory.
—Written for senior honors English class and published in the Duncan High School Demon Pitchfork, 19-Dec-1981
The Energy Crisis and Its Effect on America (1981)
The American Energy Crisis has had profound effects on us all. Past, present, and, most assuredly, future American presidents have shaped, and will continue to shape, the energy policies of this nation in a direction so as to increase production of domestic energy and to exploit alternate energy sources to decrease our dependence on foreign oil resources.
The American public, the consumer of energy, has changed its ideas also. Citizens have been repeatedly victimized by energy deficiencies and gargantuan prices. The average American has become skeptical about the truthfulness, the reality, of the crisis. They have begun to believe that today’s energy situations are simply the fabrications of large, profit-motivated oil conglomerates that are seeking ways to combat ever-growing government regulations concerning the accumulation of their carefully hoarded corporate earnings.
The American citizenry is struggling for answers to energy difficulties, but they are being hampered by endless bureaucracy; a slow-moving government delayed by its own laws of necessity and an obligation to be cautious when approaching sensitive, controversial issues; and the oil industries that refuse to divulge the truths of their operations and means of gaining profit. These interminable, incessant impediments to justice are adding to the public frustration.
The effects of today’s energy crisis on America cannot be summarized briefly. The crisis, real or imagined, has had profound effects on the people of the United States. It has driven our presidents to update our energy policies. It has made us look around ourselves—we must drive more fuel-efficient cars; carpool or use public transportation; and seek new and varied alternative energy sources. And it has forced Americans to think, to look at our situation objectively and face it with the courage and spirit of the United States of America.
—Written for senior honors English, 1-Dec-1981
Tomorrow Today Yesterday (c. 1978)
Dreams, trials, memories
Hopes, fears, memories
Desires, defeats, memories
Isn’t yesterday anything but memories?
No, tomorrow is always a memory
a scent a taste a touch
Why then is tomorrow nothing but dreams?
Why then is today always realizations?
God only knows, only He knows among everyone
Futile dreams, frustrating realities, bitter memories.
Is that ALL?
—Undated; probably 1978