Whine, Whine, Whine

Today’s posts are simply going to be whining sessions. Forgive me, but this is all the therapy I can get while I’m sitting in class and keep my cool.

My fatigue level is high suddenly. Nauseated. Fatigued. Anxiety-ridden. I’m a mess and I need to whine about it. Nothing wrong with that. Everybody needs to whine.

The main fear I had when considering whether to attempt to restart grad school was, ironically, not the anxiety; I expected that and it will go away. The big fear is physical … fatigue and arthritis and the side effects from the chemotherapy I’m taking for the arthritis, which induces more fatigue and nausea. Can I keep up with the pace? I have to pace myself and get plenty of rest. There will be times when I have to be less than perfect. And I’ll have to accept that and forgive myself.

And that will be hard; I’m pretty angry with myself right now.