Sad moments today: Bayley Murphey Beagle came home for the last time. I picked up his cremains at 11:30 this morning. Whoever did the work did a very nice job (except that they spelled his name, “Bailey” as usual). There is a paw print in plaster, and the cremains are in a very nice cedar box. I put it in the living room with a photo.

It was a very tough time. Along with picking him up and bringing him home, there is more and more news about the recall and how widespread and deadly it is. I think it’s just the tip of the iceberg. Channel 2 news was showing a very sick beagle in Fremont, who got sick after eating the food. It’s a tragedy and a crime. Every time we look on the Menu Foods website, they’ve added additional UPC codes of Authority food that was affected. It’s nasty and disgusting and heartbreaking.

Frank and David had rough moments over seeing the box which holds what’s left of Bayley. Frank couldn’t look inside. David and I unlocked it and looked. There are small bone fragments and dust. David had a very hard time for awhile and didn’t eat dinner. Frank had his moment a little later.

I guess I’m still numb. I’m also really angry. I miss him terribly. It was probably unnecessary and caused by the food we were feeding him. As one lady on the evening news said as she held up a packet of tainted food, “I killed my cat by feeding her this.” I feel the same way. I feel like I killed Bayley by feeding him. And I didn’t even know it.

I hate this. But I’m glad he’s home. I wish he were snoring here on the couch with me. But at least he’s here and not lying on a cold slab somewhere.

We plan to prepare and cook our own food menus for the «Beagle Boys». May Menu Foods rot in hell. Bastards.

Can we agree that I must be in the anger stage of grief?