Well, ugh. That’s my reaction after completing the first three assignments for the first of four undergrad courses the University of Michigan is forcing me to take before I will be permitted to join that exclusive club, grad school, on 29-June.

UM’s School of Ed pointed me to, of all places, Brigham Friggin’ Young University’s online independent study department to pick up two geographies, one political science and one economics class in the next eight weeks. I didn’t know it was possible.

But for a mere $1,380 plus the cost of books, you too can get 12 hours of undergrad college credit from the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter Day Saints. And believe me, the course materials let you know that little fact.

Other than the rather obvious evangelistic efforts, it actually is pretty slick. After you register and pay online, they send you CD-ROMs with Quicktime movies and an access code. You can order your books directly from them or, as I did, cheap online from half.com. (Geography120: $93 at BYU; less than $10 online.)

I received the first CDs last week, and the book for the first geography course today. I went online, entered the access code, enjoyed the presentation from BYU’s president extolling the virtues of education to Godly young men and women, and then started the course.

You are given supplemental text lessons and you read the textbook, then are given opportunities to write short-answer essays and practice the true/false and multiple choice assignment. Once you feel you’ve mastered the text and the practice sessions, you do what is called a ‘Speedback Assignment,’ which is 25 multiple choice and true/false questions. It is open book. Once you’re satisfied with your answers, you hit submit and the assignment is graded instantly.

For my first geography course, there are 13 lessons, a ‘mid-term’ and a final exam. Only about half of the lessons have graded Speedback Assignments, but each of those are worth 5% of your final grade.

The mid-term and final must be proctored by a qualified person. BYU sends the exam materials to the proctor, who administers the test and sends it back (you pay postage). Two weeks after you complete the final, you get a final grade and an official BYU transcript showing completion. Since that will satisfy the state of Michigan that I meet their higher-than-Oklahoma standards for an elementary education social studies minor, it works and I can recommend it … so far. After two graded lessons, I have a 94 average.

Still, I’m having flashbacks to the ‘80s, especially since the middle school class I ‘guest taught’ today spent an hour watching The Goonies. A college boy once more. I’ll have to try better this time around; not cutting classes to go watch bad ‘80s movies like, well, The Goonies should help.

Y’all excuse me now, though. I have a headache brought on by contemplating the peripheral distribution of the populations of Mediterranean Europe, Jefferson’s theories on principal cities and whether Belarus or the Czech Republic is a better source for computer programmers and whether the latter will be able to successfully deal with 100,000 historically repressed Romany.

Ah the halls of ivy.

Between converting this site to Textpattern—since LunarPages is no longer interested in helping resurrect MovableType (if they ever were)—and starting my 12 hours of undergrad courses in preparation for grad school 29-June and substitute teaching, I’ve had very little time for updates here, sorry.

But let’s take a quick look at how the Boy War Emperor is making us ‘Murricans safer, shall we? First up, « when Mubarak talks, perhaps we’d better listen »:

‘Arabs in the Middle East hate the United States more than ever following the invasion of Iraq and Israel’s assassination of two Hamas leaders, Egyptian President Hosni Mubarak said in comments published Tuesday. Mubarak, who visited the United States last week, told French newspaper Le Monde that Washington’s actions had caused despair, frustration and a sense of injustice in the Arab world. “Today there is hatred of the Americans like never before in the region,” he said in an interview given during a stay in France, where he met President Jacques Chirac Monday.’
—News.MyWay.com

Ooops.

‘He blamed the hostility partly on U.S. support for Israel, which assassinated Hamas leader Abdel-Aziz al-Rantissi in a missile strike in the Gaza Strip Saturday weeks after killing his predecessor, Sheikh Ahmed Yassin. “At the start some considered the Americans were helping them. There was no hatred of the Americans. After what has happened in Iraq, there is unprecedented hatred and the Americans know it,” Mubarak said. “People have a feeling of injustice. What’s more, they see (Israeli Prime Minister Ariel) Sharon acting as he pleases, without the Americans saying anything. He assassinates people who don’t have the planes and helicopters that he has.”’

‘Unprecedented hatred?’ Ruh-roh. Not even precedented on 11-Sep?

‘Israel says such killings are self-defense. But Mubarak said the assassination of Rantissi could have “serious consequences” and that instability in Gaza and Iraq would not serve U.S. or Israeli interests. “The despair and feeling of injustice are not going to be limited to our region alone. American and Israeli interests will not be safe, not only in our region but anywhere in the world,” he said.’

Not safe anywhere in the world. Thank you, George W. Bush.

But don’t worry. Our Imperial Senate is on the job, as « a leading senate fascist says the ‘D’ word »:

‘A senior Republican lawmaker said that deteriorating security in Iraq may force the United States to reintroduce the military draft. “There’s not an American … that doesn’t understand what we are engaged in today and what the prospects are for the future,” Senator Chuck Hagel told a Senate Foreign Relations Committee hearing on post-occupation Iraq. “Why shouldn’t we ask all of our citizens to bear some responsibility and pay some price?” Hagel said, arguing that restoring compulsory military service would force “our citizens to understand the intensity and depth of challenges we face.” The Nebraska Republican added that a draft, which was ended in the early 1970s, would spread the burden of military service in Iraq more equitably among various social strata. “Those who are serving today and dying today are the middle class and lower middle class,” he observed. The call to consider a imposing a draft comes just days after the Pentagon moved to extend the missions of some 20,000 of the 135,000 US troops in Iraq.’
—Yahoo News

And just what provoked said ‘intensity and depth of challenges we face,’ eh, Chuckie? I’ll answer the question for you: the Boy Emperor’s Divine Providence hubris, his Cabal’s incredible criminal negligence and ignorance, the complete dereliction of duty by the Congress, talk radio screaming bloody murder and, as a victim of the vast right-wing conspiracy told editors today, « the timidity and cowardice of the fourth estate »:

‘Sen. Hillary Clinton (D-N.Y.) told newspapers editors gathered here this afternoon that they had to be “more vigilant” and act with “more tenacity” to combat the failures of the Bush administration to provide “vital information” to the public. Interviewed by Marvin Kalb on the opening day of the annual American Society of Newspaper Editors convention, Sen. Clinton said: “It’s difficult for editors and publishers here to get to the bottom of stories. This administration, to an extent I haven’t seen before, tells the press to go away—and they do, like most people do when told that more than once. … Many in this administration are quite expert at saying nothing despite your best efforts to get them to say something.” She reminded the editors that “so much is at stake now and the public needs more information.” She also warned that “the echo chamber of talk radio can drown out a three-part series any of you write.”’
—Editor and Publisher

Amazing that she of all people would cut them a break with moderate language. Until these people get their heads shaken so hard their pea brains rattle, they will continue to be steamrolled by the Imperial Cabal. Bet on it.

Blender and VH1 have teamed up to list the 50 worst songs of all time. I would agree that Starship’s “We Built This City” is a plenty bad song, but the worst? The worst? Have these people never heard Bryan Adams’ ”(Everything I Do) I Do It for You?” Michael Bolton’s “How Am I Supposed to Live without You”? Kenny G’s “Songbird”? Anyway, I may be old and irrelevant, but any magazine that splatters photos of Mariah Carey and Christina Aguilera all over its website will have a lot to answer for in 10 or 15 years.

Also, it says everything that none of their top 10 picks is older than 1982, which means none of the Blender crowd is older than, say, 28. That means not old enough to have ever suffered through the sheer torture of Mary MacGregor’s “Torn between Two Lovers,” David Soul’s “Don’t Give up on Us,” and Terry Jacks’ “Seasons in the Sun.” What punishment is it to have gotten through Wang Chung and Bobby McFerrin intact and relatively sane? You can only say you’ve lived if you’ve survived Dan Hill and Barry Manilow. And Morris Albert. Now those are battle scars.