Foul Ball

It’s too disgusting to even link to, but Major League DumbBall is putting ads on the freakin’ bases, for cryin’ out loud. And they’re for a stupid, ignorant and inevitably crappy sequel to a crappy Hollywood movie version of a crappy comic book about an freaky arachnid weirdo superhero. Gosh, just when you thought they couldn’t go much lower in our culture, they find new depths.

Meanwhile, one of the game’s heroes, who may be on track to break Hank Aaron’s homerun record, the penultimate baseball stat, petulantly tells the media to either prove he’s on steroids or shut up about it, even as federal investigators were told on 2-Mar that the hero was among six major-league players who received steroids from a California lab through the hero’s boyhood friend and longtime weight trainer. A corroborating source told a newspaper that steroids and human growth hormone had been obtained for the hero for three years.

I’m not exactly sure how much worse the Majors can get; I’m sure it won’t be too long before they dig up Lou Gehrig and put Disney animatronics in him and trot him around to each ballpark in the system so he can do ads for Propecia and Diet Coke.

Or it could be even worse than that. Kevin Costner could make Field of Dreams II (‘If you build it, they will buy Budweiser’).